Scooter: June 2008 Archives

flos.jpgAt the extreme southern end of Waldo, or arguably at the extreme northern end of South KC, sits a tiny run-down strip mall. In the center of this strip mall you will find Flo's Poke-A-Dot Lounge.

We found our seats on the south side of the box-shaped bar, the only people in the place under the age of sixty. (Granted, it was 10:30am on a Saturday.) On the wall across from us, a velvet painting of a nude woman graced our presence.

We both ordered Bud Light draws and began talking with the bartender and other customers. Based upon the name of this bar we had assumed the owner was a woman named Florence. Instead we learned that "Flo" is a man named Floyd.

About midway through our beers, napkins were suddenly slid in front of us by one of the other customers. With a look of worry on his face, my drinking buddy leaned over to me.

"How quickly can you chug your beer?" he whispered.

"I don't know, pretty fast," I whispered back.

"Do it!" he whispered forcefully.

Unaware of what he had somehow realized was about to happen, I began drinking as quickly as I could. As I took the last gulp, out of the corner of my eye I spotted the need for this urgency.

A gentleman a few bar stools down had pulled a plastic bag full of shrimp out of the pocket of his jacket and had begun dumping fistfuls of it onto the napkins he had just placed in front of the other patrons.

Now I love shrimp, but I'm not going to eat fisted shrimp from a plastic bag pulled out of the pocket of some random guy at an unfamiliar bar. I set my empty beer glass down and my friend and I stood up to leave.

"Wait, don't you want some shrimp?" the shrimp-fister asked us.

"Ah, no, we just had a huge breakfast," we fibbed. "Thanks anyway!"

We left the bar and got into the car. As my friend put the car in reverse, there was a knock at the driver's side window. We saw one of the other customers standing outside the window, cupping some shrimp in his hands. We lowered down the window just enough that he could speak without passing us any shrimp.

"What the hell am I supposed to do with this???" he asked rhetorically, laughing about his failure to escape the shrimping in time.

"No clue, guess you better bolt faster next time!" we chuckled back.



Flo's Poke-A-Dot is located on the west side of Wornall, just south of 89th Street. It's next to Princess Garden and across the street from that 7-11 that gets robbed all the time.


8934 Wornall Rd, Kansas City, MO  

Welcome! Opening June 30...

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photomoz2.jpgWelcome to The Weekly Dive, where each week we'll highlight one of the hundreds of dive bars we have visited.

This is not a review site. Our visits can happen at any time of day, any day of the week, so there's no fair way for us to assess and rate a bar overall. We simply report on our own experiences and observations during our visit. Sometimes these will be fairly ordinary, sometimes they are wacky to downright bizarre. When possible, we try to throw in a little background information as well.

Though we are based in Kansas City and a large number of the bars are from our area, it is by no means the only area we cover. The category list to the right shows the regions we already have bar reports queued up for, and more regions will be added as we visit new places in the future.

A Note About Closures
Turnover is fairly common in the bar business. It's very likely that at least some bars we will post about will have either closed or changed hands since we visited. Each report we post will include the bar's address and last known phone number. Please call first or inquire locally before going out of your way to visit any dive we feature.

Come back on June 30 to begin seeing our weekly reports!

 

How Do I Get My Bar Featured?

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Well, for starters, if your dive bar is in the Kansas City area, the Minneapolis area, east-central Kansas, northern Missouri, north-central Iowa, or south-central Iowa, we've probably already visited you and you didn't even realize it! So keep your eyes on this site and you may see your place featured in the weeks or months to come.

We do 3-4 major excursions a year to collect reports about new regions, so our coverage area will continue to grow.

For the time being we do not accept requests to feature a particular bar. However you may still feel free to tempt us with offers of free drinks in exchange for a visit. :)

 

There's actually a lot of debate as to what defines a dive bar. For instance, I know some people who consider any place that isn't primarily a night club or a wine/martini bar to be a dive bar.

Our definition, however, is more strict. While subject to interpretation on an individual basis, our main criteria are as follows:


  1. It cannot be a national or regional chain. A small local chain is acceptable in some instances.

  2. Primarily a beer or hard liquor bar. Martini bars and wine bars just won't do.

  3. A standard pour of domestic beer must be under $4, and is preferably $2 or less. Quite a few charge only a buck.

  4. Absolutely no high-end menu! Ideally any available food should be chips and pretzels or the like. If there is a menu, it should be fried foods, pizza, tacos, and/or burgers. Fish & chips and cheap steaks are ok if the bar meets the other criteria.
  5. At least 2 of the following must also be true:

    1. A dilapidated, worn, or plain exterior or interior decor. This must be genuine, not designed to appear this way.

    2. The maximum selection of beer on tap should not exceed the standard domestics + up to 4 specialty beers.

    3. Should feature a pool table, darts, a MegaTouch machine, Silver Strike, or a claw machine.

    4. The men's room should either be a tiny 1-man cubicle, have a trough (preferably filled with ice), or it should have more fixtures than the amount of space in the room can physically accomodate having in use all at the same time.


Finally, there is the subjective rule, the one we use when a place is too close to call:

  • Would the average person off the street be scared or nervous about going in?

If we think they would, then it's probably a dive.

 

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About this Archive

This page is a archive of recent entries written by Scooter in June 2008.

Scooter: July 2008 is the next archive.

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